Statistics

One percent of couples who have had two miscarriages will go on to have a third*

Fifty percent of couples will not find a cause for their miscarriages*

Sixty percent of couples in this situation will go on to have a baby in their next pregnancy*

I am that one percent. We are that one percent. Where we lie with respect to the other above statistics is yet to be seen.

I look at these numbers, thinking of how I found comfort in the one percent statistic. That’s a pretty small number. At the end of July, I was cautiously optimistic that we would bring home a baby after staring at a positive pregnancy test for the third time. We would not be in that one percent. I asked for betas, and they rose appropriately. I took progesterone twice a day. I quit drinking coffee. I exercised moderately and tried to remain calm and un-stressed. Our early ultrasound at six weeks one day showed a baby measuring at six weeks. The doctor said she could just barely make out a heartbeat (we couldn’t tell). Things seemed to be right on track.

But then, right as I hit seven weeks, my pregnancy symptoms disappeared. No more sore boobs or nausea. It was like déjà vu, as that’s exactly what happened in my first pregnancy. So I made an appointment. There was no heartbeat, and where we should have seen a seven week three day fetus, we saw one that had only grown to six weeks and one day. I took the ultrasound picture anyway.

Today, I lay on the couch, completing my third Misoprostol induced miscarriage. I’m a pro at this now. That’s something I never thought I’d say.

Now I hope we will be in the sixty percent. And I don’t know what side of the fifty percent I should hope to be on. Is it better to find a problem? What if the problem has no treatment? What if there is no problem? There are too many what ifs.

My regular OB still thinks it’s just bad luck. I can’t decide if I want to hug her or punch her. She’s been so supportive in so many ways but I felt like I had to twist her arm to get the fertility and genetics referrals (this is after telling me last time that you need to have three in a row to get these referrals so I have no idea why it was so difficult). She even thought that the fertility consult would be rejected since I can get pregnant. Luckily, she was wrong. Has she never experienced someone with three miscarriage in a row and no children? I can’t believe she still thinks it’s just bad luck because “early miscarriages are so common”.

I’m going to switch OB’s anyway because I associate that office with three of the worst experience of my life. My husband never wants to go there again. I need a clean slate. But I also need a doctor who believes me when I say something’s wrong. Because it’s not normal to have three miscarriages in a row. And I felt something was wrong after two. I wish I pushed harder but there is nothing I can do about that now.

I hate the unknown. We have an appointment with the REI clinic in a couple of weeks and a referral to a genetic counselor that I’m still waiting to hear from. I am compiling another list of questions, comments, observations, and things I would like to be investigated. This time I hope to come away satisfied that all angles have been covered.

Hopefully I won’t be another negative statistic.

*statistics extrapolated from http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1039328/understanding-recurrent-miscarriage

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9 thoughts on “Statistics

  1. valleyally

    I hope you aren’t another statistic. I work with a girl who I supported through 3 miscarriages in a row too… It was gut wrenching and disheartening. Our clinic chalked it up to bad luck. I am happy to say that last week she gave birth to a beautiful little boy. Anything is possible! Have hope!

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  2. Sondra

    I’m so sorry. I’ve been there with three consecutive miscarriages (within a 9 months span) with no answers and an OB that assumed it was bad luck. I remember sitting in that office after we no longer had a heartbeat for the 3rd time and flipping out for a referral to see an RE. I then had another miscarriage under my RE’s care that was proven to be just bad luck (chromosomal). I am pregnant for a 5th time and they keep telling me everything is normal, but with RPL the fear is still there and very real. I’m telling you this because they did figure out something that was wrong with me and ‘fixable’ and I believe you being your own advocate is so important. My heart just breaks when I read your post and I’m so sorry you have to induce a miscarriage again. That was one of the most devastating things for me to do. No one should even have to experience one loss and recurrent pregnancy loss is so devastating. I’m so sorry. Feel free to email me if you need me. acalmpersistence@gmail.com Big hugs.

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  3. rachela28

    Starting over with a new OB would probably be a good idea. I had different insurance with my first two mcs. Thankfully I have a better insurance plan now (different company entirely) and I am very happy with my decision so far. I’m going to an office now that I feel like I can really trust. I hope you’re able to find that and that you can get some answers. So sorry for your loss

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  4. EmilyMaine

    I am so sorry for your loss. The unfortunate reality of it all is that we need to be our own warriors when it comes to investigating our medical issues most of the time. So many Drs seem to want to sit on their hands for so long. I do not understand it. Here’s hoping you find your answers.

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    1. RJ Post author

      Thanks! It’s super frustrating trying to get things done to my satisfaction, as I’m sure so many others have experienced. I had my fertility appointment last Friday and will blog about it soon I hope. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you this time 🙂

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