One percent of couples who have had two miscarriages will go on to have a third*
Fifty percent of couples will not find a cause for their miscarriages*
Sixty percent of couples in this situation will go on to have a baby in their next pregnancy*
I am that one percent. We are that one percent. Where we lie with respect to the other above statistics is yet to be seen.
I look at these numbers, thinking of how I found comfort in the one percent statistic. That’s a pretty small number. At the end of July, I was cautiously optimistic that we would bring home a baby after staring at a positive pregnancy test for the third time. We would not be in that one percent. I asked for betas, and they rose appropriately. I took progesterone twice a day. I quit drinking coffee. I exercised moderately and tried to remain calm and un-stressed. Our early ultrasound at six weeks one day showed a baby measuring at six weeks. The doctor said she could just barely make out a heartbeat (we couldn’t tell). Things seemed to be right on track.
But then, right as I hit seven weeks, my pregnancy symptoms disappeared. No more sore boobs or nausea. It was like déjà vu, as that’s exactly what happened in my first pregnancy. So I made an appointment. There was no heartbeat, and where we should have seen a seven week three day fetus, we saw one that had only grown to six weeks and one day. I took the ultrasound picture anyway.
Today, I lay on the couch, completing my third Misoprostol induced miscarriage. I’m a pro at this now. That’s something I never thought I’d say.
Now I hope we will be in the sixty percent. And I don’t know what side of the fifty percent I should hope to be on. Is it better to find a problem? What if the problem has no treatment? What if there is no problem? There are too many what ifs.
My regular OB still thinks it’s just bad luck. I can’t decide if I want to hug her or punch her. She’s been so supportive in so many ways but I felt like I had to twist her arm to get the fertility and genetics referrals (this is after telling me last time that you need to have three in a row to get these referrals so I have no idea why it was so difficult). She even thought that the fertility consult would be rejected since I can get pregnant. Luckily, she was wrong. Has she never experienced someone with three miscarriage in a row and no children? I can’t believe she still thinks it’s just bad luck because “early miscarriages are so common”.
I’m going to switch OB’s anyway because I associate that office with three of the worst experience of my life. My husband never wants to go there again. I need a clean slate. But I also need a doctor who believes me when I say something’s wrong. Because it’s not normal to have three miscarriages in a row. And I felt something was wrong after two. I wish I pushed harder but there is nothing I can do about that now.
I hate the unknown. We have an appointment with the REI clinic in a couple of weeks and a referral to a genetic counselor that I’m still waiting to hear from. I am compiling another list of questions, comments, observations, and things I would like to be investigated. This time I hope to come away satisfied that all angles have been covered.
Hopefully I won’t be another negative statistic.
*statistics extrapolated from http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1039328/understanding-recurrent-miscarriage