As if the universe hasn’t dealt me enough shit already…
I passed some half dollar sized clots at 3 weeks postpartum, and had an ultrasound to make sure nothing was amiss at that time. I did not see my regular OB. Nothing was noted except a heavy uterine lining, which was expected. Relief overwhelmed me, because the doctor had to manually extract my placenta during my delivery, and I was expecting bad news.
I had my 6 week postpartum appointment today. Based on the fact that my bleeding has not lightened much, and in fact has become heavier and redder, I knew something was up, but I was hoping I was just one of the unlucky ones who bleeds a long time after birth.
As I undressed, I managed to bleed all over my legs, socks, and the floor. Glorious. Apparently there was a huge clot just sitting in my vagina making a mess everywhere. She removed it and took a quick look. Everything looked normal, and my pelvic exam was normal as well. Then she followed up with my gazillionth vaginal ultrasound.
The ultrasound showed I have what looks like some retained placenta. I have no idea how that was missed 3 weeks ago, but my OB said she looked at the previous picture and agreed nothing looked amiss there. My options are D&C or try misoprostol in hopes that it’ll cause enough contractions to get everything else out. I opted for the misoprostol, since I am intimately familiar with the workings of my body with this medication. I do not want a D&C if I can avoid it. At this rate I’m willing to bet my left toe that at my follow up next Friday I’ll still have some placenta in my uterus and I will have to have one anyway.
I had a whole host of questions about my stillbirth but the exam took so much time that I elected to save them for my follow up next week. We scheduled a 30 min slot before lunch to do a recheck and chat about the results. She provided me with the full report today so I can read over it and re-formulate my questions based on what I read.
Basically, there is nothing obvious that caused Colton to be stillborn. Maybe a cord accident, maybe placenta problems or a fetal arrhythmia. I wish there was a better answer. The ambiguity makes the next steps much harder for me.
I’m giving a huge F-YOU to my uterus right now. Feels like it just can’t do anything right.