Tag Archives: breastfeeding

I was never a very good blogger…

Hello everyone!

First off, I am still following all of your journeys! Unfortunately I have still been struggling with my comments not loading. I have an email into support that will hopefully fix it. I think they are being recorded as spam! Maybe I am spam, but I certainly hope not! If you have a way to check your spam comments (I don’t even know how you would do this) and un-mark me as spam that would be awesome, otherwise you just get likes!

Secondly, I plan to still keep blogging occasionally to update on baby A and our potential escapades on TTC #2 (if that actually happens). I love following everyone’s journeys so even if I’m blogging infrequently, I will still be commenting (if my wordpress comment issue ever gets worked out).

Baby A is 3 months old now. She weighs 11lb 5oz, so 10 percentile. I think she’s just going to be a little lady for the foreseeable future. I’m hoping she continues to grow and thrive. We are still EBF. She frequently spits up so I assume she has silent reflux. It doesn’t seem to bother her so as long as her doctor is ok with her weight gain at her 4 month appointment next month, I’ll try not to worry too much about it. From 2 months to now she is gaining an average of 5.8oz per week.

She’s started rolling over from tummy to back around 11 weeks, but it’s fairly infrequent. She also seems to be trying to roll from back to tummy as she will arch to either side while she’s on her back. We get tons of smiles and lots of chatter, she’s so much fun. Her favorite activity is flying baby, where we play airplane with her up in the air. She loves the view from above! She also likes tummy time and music/dancing with Mommy and Daddy. Another favorite is bath time with Daddy, especially since he blow-drys her dry afterward. She LOVES the blow-dryer.

Sleep has gotten better now that we are co-sleeping (my pediatrician basically said that some babies are super high need and the only way to solve that problem is safe co-sleeping. He then said they co-slept with 2/3 of their kids, and he was always against it until he had kids of his own and struggled with sleep. He says that their 17 month old is still in bed with them. I don’t think I can go that long, but i’m hoping to at least get through until we can sleep train around 6 months. But my feelings on sleep training wax and wane so we will see what ends up happening). We use a snugglenest so she has her own space. Before that, she would only sleep maximum 1 hour in her crib or in a bedside co-sleeper before waking up and taking forever to go back to sleep. Now we can get a solid 4-5 hour stretch out of her (usually 11pm-3am). I try to put her down drowsy but awake for naps but she will only fall asleep on her own about 10% of the time. She only naps for about 40-60 minutes with the occasional unicorn nap for longer than 60 minutes!

I go back to work in a little over 2 weeks. We found a great in-home daycare on the way to my husbands work. She is incredible and I am so thankful we have her, as I feel comfortable leaving my baby with her. I just wish I had more than 16 weeks off with her (I am saving 2 weeks of my bonding time otherwise I could have had 18 weeks). I feel fortunate to have had this long, and all of it is paid due to me saving a ton of vacation (although let’s be real, the reason I have so much vacation is that it’s too hard to get time off of work approved because of union seniority..grr). Going back to work sounds good because I am looking forward to some adult time and using my brain in a different way, but I really just wish I had more time. I am also applying for new jobs that don’t have a weekend requirement as I would love to be off with my family on the weekends. hopefully that search doesn’t take too long!

Baby A got a cousin on my birthday in November! I’m honored to share my birthday with my niece. And we are super excited to have girl cousins (baby R was a wait until delivery to find out the sex). It’s been fun having my sister-in-law going through pregnancy and motherhood at about the same stages (she also suffered 2 losses before her successful pregnancy so we are able to support each other there as well).

In sad news, my grandfather and my husband’s grandmother passed away. My grandfather passed away in November and he had transitioned to hospice so it wasn’t a huge shock, although it has been very sad because of his passing obviously but also because my mom moved to southern California to care for my grandmother, and it’s hard having her away. My husbands grandmother passed away of a presumed heart attack on Christmas Eve, so Christmas was pretty awful this year. It was shocking that she went as she was only 76 and seemed to be in pretty good health. These things bring to mind the circle of life, in that we had our beautiful baby but life does not go on forever.

I hope you are all well.

 

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Our Postpartum Stay

I’ve been wanting to write about what’s been going on but I have not made an effort! Here is an attempt to update on the last 5 weeks. The post was so long that I am going to break it up into several posts. This is probably fairly boring to anyone who is not me! But I would like this to remember the early days!

After baby A’s delivery we were transferred over to the mother/baby unit to work on breastfeeding and recover. Because of her low birthweight (4lb 13oz) she needed frequent temperature checks and blood sugar checks. Her sugars were on the low side of normal. The nurses said that my colostrum would be enough to sustain her sugars. Well, breastfeeding was a different story. Since she was 3 weeks early and quite small, she could not latch on effectively to transfer the colostrum, and she was jus biting my nipples. Ouch!! She had a sugar of 37 in the early evening. I nursed her and also expressed some colostrum (like 0.3ml) and fed that to her. Then nighttime came. Baby A screamed and screamed throughout the night. The kind of scream that hunger brings about. Now I know colostrum is suppose to sustain babies through the first days of life. The nurses tried to reaffirm that. But I truly believe our baby was starving. Remember, she was IUGR. She had not met her growth potential in the womb. She was ready to grow and to do that, she needed to eat. It was so difficult to listen to her scream and for me to be unable to sustain her. I was in tears for a large part of the night.

The icing on the cake was when they checked her sugar around 4am and it was 28. That is a scary low blood sugar. I know what happens to babies and kids when they blood sugar is low, that’s part of my job. I demanded formula to feed my screaming, starving child and the nurses were so hesitant to provide it. They took awhile to bring it which only made me more upset. It was incredibly frustrating to be made to feel bad for doing what was medically necessary for my baby. Hindsight tells me I should have demanded to speak with the pediatrician but I was so upset and sleep deprived that I wasn’t thinking straight. 

After feeding the formula she slept. It was such a relief. But then she woke up screaming again in a couple of hours. That was when I lost it and was just continuously crying. When the nurses came in for change of shift, they told me I would be the first patient to be seen by lactation that morning.

The visit from the lactation nurse was just what we needed. She watch baby A try to latch and agreed that she was too little and bite-y (is that a word?) to latch properly. So we developed s plan. I would try to latch her 2-3 times a day to practice. Then I would use hand expression to get out as much colostrum as possible. My husband would then finger feed her the colostrum and give her about a half ounce of formula while I double pumped to help bring in my milk supply. I was given a hospital grade pump to take home for 2 months. I was so incredibly thankful that we had a plan that my husband and I could agree with. I felt like my concerns were heard. The pediatric nurse practitioner was on board with us as well. 

We ended up staying an extra night to make sure she gained weight, as on the morning of our original discharge she weighed 4lb 7oz. We continued our feeding plan, and the next day she was 4lb 10oz and we were free to go. 

Overall the nurses were fantastic and I feel like we got great care, aside from the formula issue. 

36 Week Appt and Breastfeeding Class, and Ideal Birth

I had my 36 week appointment with my regular OB today. We just chatted about induction and about how excited she is that I’ve almost made it to (early) full term. She also checked me to see if I have any dilation. I’m currently a fingertip (which means less than 1cm) but I’m 50% effaced and my cervix is quite soft. She can even feel the baby’s head since she’s super low! So I’m hoping I’ll go into labor naturally before Saturday’s scheduled induction! Haha, yeah right! I’m not expecting that, but I am hoping that the soft cervix will make the induction go a bit smoother!

My husband and I took a breastfeeding class tonight through Kaiser health education that was very well put together. She gave us a ton of resources to get help if we have problems and gave us a great overview. 

We watched a video of the golden hour, where they put the baby skin-to-skin on Mom just after she’s born and I literally started crying to myself as soon as I head the baby’s first cries. Then I proceeded to sniffle and tear up through the rest of the video. It was really touching. 

I really hope our baby cries right away and I get to have her placed on my chest. I just feel like there have been so many complications and anxieties throughout trying to get pregnant and during the pregnancy and I am just really hoping I get this magical experience. 

Obviously I just want my baby girl to make it out safely into this world, but I guess I do have some pretty deep-rooted hopes that I can still have a beautiful birth experience even though we are being induced. I always wanted to not have an epidural and not use meds but that is probably not going to happen and I’ve made peace with that. I think it’s really about my attitude going into everything and I’m just trying to go with the flow and realize that not everything is in my control (logically I know this but I think we all have our ideas of a perfect birth, and what my birth will likely be does not match with my ideal birth story). 

Anyway this was a rambling post but the emotions I felt watching that video tonight made me feel like writing. I have my last NST, Dopplers, and MFM appointment on Thursday. I’ll update once more after that appointment, then induction will be Saturday likely starting in the early evening! 

Shit is about to get real!