1st trimester is almost done (depending how you look at it…)

As of yesterday, I hit 13 weeks. Since I like averages, I’m in the camp of 13.3 is the end of the first trimester. That is in a couple of days! I spent 4 weeks to 12 weeks pregnant sick with some horrible virus that went from cold to horrific cough to sinus infection so I finally took some antibiotics and it cleared right up. I wish I would have taken them earlier but I also was really hesitant to take anything. I also waited to get my flu shot until I was better and I was even hesitant to get that, but I feel pretty strongly the benefits outweigh the risk. Plus for my job I have to have the shot or wear a mask from November to the beginning of April. No thanks!

Now I’m feeling actual pregnancy sickness. Pretty ironic I missed out on that because I was so incredibly ill! I’ve been super tired as well and incredibly bloated. But that’s it for symptoms so I guess I missed the worst of it. I did throw up once around 11 weeks and that was a pregnancy first (and hopefully last) for me.

We did the harmo.ny prenatal test because I am now almost advanced maternal age (but I feel so young). It took 6 business days and we found out everything is low risk and we are having a BOY! Both of us were shocked as I think we were preparing for a girl after the last loss being a boy. My husband always wanted one of each so I really hope this continues to go well and this is it for us!

I’ve been using my fetal Doppler to check the heartbeat once a week. I tried after my 10 week appointment and couldn’t find it, but I was successful at 11 weeks and it was still going strong as of yesterday. It’s so helpful for me otherwise I’d be in for frequent OB checks and I feel so silly for doing that even though they don’t seem to mind.

My next appointment is at 16 weeks and that is for my biweekly cervix checks until 24 weeks. Here we go again!

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Moving right along…

This is a pregnant post, please feel free to skip if need be…

Today I am 9 weeks! It is really a bit shocking to be here and I really hope things keep going well.

I had my last OB appointment this past Friday with my regular OB. She is so amazing and totally squeezed me in so I could see her even when she had no openings. My husband managed to make it after work as well and I was so glad to have his support, especially after the last experience seeing the heartbeat and then having it be gone. My pregnancy symptoms had tapered off again so I was a bit nervous. I was measuring 8w4d, which was a full 3-4 days ahead based off of the last scan. Heartbeat was 180! The baby is so much bigger in a matter of a week. I forgot how much they grow and in such a short timeframe.

I will go back for my prenatal intake appointment next week on Tuesday at 10 weeks. Then if everything looks good I’ll have to see how I’m feeling and if I can wait longer in between ultrasounds (I have a Doppler from last time so I may try it out after my appointment and just use that but who knows if I’ll be able to find the heartbeat…I waited until 15 or 16 weeks to use it last time).

We are going to do the blood test for common chromosomal anomalies this time because I’ll be 35 at the time of delivery (next month…eeekkkk…where has the time gone). I also would like a version of the NT scan but I have no idea if I’ll be able to convince them to do both…it’s apparently one or the other. Hopefully I can work my magic and get what I want!

As for symptoms, they are quite mild, so that continues to make me nervous. My mantra is “I have no reason to believe anything is wrong”. I’ve been saying it a lot. I hope it still rings true for the rest of this pregnancy!

Heartbeat!

Just a heads up that I am talking about my current pregnancy here.

I have been so nervous leading up to this appointment because my pregnancy symptoms have been pretty light to non-existent. I did have one day last week where my boobs were killing me and I was cramping and nauseated, but that all faded away which made me think the worst.

Shockingly, I was so calm this morning. I just wanted to know. My husband was really surprised I was so calm, especially since we were expecting bad news and I was such an anxious wreck this week leading up to the appointment. We were late (which I absolutely hate but OMG traffic and accidents) so I was more stressed about that than the ultrasound itself.

All of my instincts were so incredibly wrong and today we saw a heartbeat of 150 with one baby measuring 7w to 7w 1d. By my charting, I should be 7w 2d so I feel pretty good about those dates. Due date is May 21.

Overall I’m feeling better about this pregnancy because we are the same gestational age today as I was when I miscarried last time after seeing the heartbeat. I’m also quite relieved that the baby is measuring on track according to my charting. I know we are not out of the woods yet (although with my uterine anomaly we are never really out of the woods) but today I feel hope and happiness.

I will have my intake phone appointment with the prenatal clerk next Thursday and then I meet with one of the OB’s at my doctors office on Friday afternoon. I would prefer to meet with my OB but she can’t see me until the 17th and I just can’t wait that long. I know if things keep progressing I will be seeing her soon because I really need the reassurance that things are still going well.

My husband and I both hope this is it!

In other news, A turned 2 yesterday! I took her to a farm about 30 mins from our house and she rode a pony, fed/pet goats, road a train, went in her first bounce house, and went on a hay ride. She LOVED it! Then we had some family over for dinner and she got her first chocolate cupcake, which she proceeded to devour only the frosting and get it everywhere. Our family friend got her some light up shoes that she is obsessed with. She was stomping around everywhere saying “lights on”! It was hysterical.

I am very thankful to have such an amazing and fun daughter. She makes my husband and I so happy.

>5000

I had my blood drawn yesterday, almost exactly 1 week later to the minute! That was certainly not intentional but kind of cool, right? Afterward, I spent the morning doing everything I could to distract myself from checking my email obsessively every 5 minutes (which was no easy task). Luckily, the nurse was very quick this morning and I only waited 2.5 hours to find out my beta had risen to 5,558! So I’m still in the game. These betas are better than my last pregnancy, and similar to my only successful pregnancy, so I’m choosing to take that as a good sign.

My ultrasound is scheduled for Oct. 4th, the day after A’s birthday. Based on my BBT, I think I will be 7w2d. I could have had it on the 2nd but I decided I’d rather spend A’s birthday with her not knowing the outcome so I could focus on her and not another miscarriage (although I’m hoping everything looks good, but I’d rather be in the dark/nervous than upset/sad). I took the day off of work for her birthday so we could do something fun! Also, 7w2d is one day farther along than the size of my last missed miscarriage and I’m hoping if things look good it will help me relax a little (famous last words, I don’t know how to relax during early pregnancy because of my history, especially after my last miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat).

Our whole family came down with a horrific cold and so I’ve been feeling incredibly awful for the past week. I even had to call in sick be because I lost my voice! It was insane. Of course I am worried this illness will affect the pregnancy, even though I know logically it will not. I also think it’s masked any pregnancy symptoms that I may be having as I feel a little off this morning (in a pregnancy way) but I also still just feel like absolute crap (in an illness way)! Here’s to hoping we all get better soon.

In other exciting news, my husband and I signed papers to buy our first house yesterday! We are buying his Grandparents place from his siblings and Mom, and we’ve been living here since Nov. 2017. We moved in with his ailing grandfather, and he unfortunately passed away in Feb 2018, much more quickly than we all anticipated. His family is glad the house will stay on the family and we are glad to finally be homeowners.

So now we begin another two week wait for the ultrasound, ugh. It’s so weird to be here again. My husband commented that we are just approaching the danger zone so while he’s so glad the blood draws look good, we are in no way out of the woods. Hopefully the universe will prove us wrong and there is nothing to be worried about.

Thank you everyone for your support. I really appreciate it. Hope everyone is well.

Lucky number 7?

I will be talking about another P here so please do not read if you’re not in the right space.

One week ago, I noticed some serious abdominal pain, gas and bloating and I just knew I was pregnant. So last Friday I took a cheap internet test and got a squinter. I was pretty sure I saw the line so I shelled out for a better test and I was for sure pregnant. This was at 10dpo.

I had started taking vaginal progesterone twice a day from 3dpo, and I have been taking baby aspirin for months. With my only successful pregnancy I took the vaginal progesterone from 3dpo so I am officially doing everything the same this time around.

I actually waited until 14dpo ask my RE for blood work. I wanted to see some higher numbers this time. My progesterone came back at 49.1, beating out my last progesterone by 1, so I’m still going with the assumption that progesterone is not an issue for me. My first beta came back at 98, and the second (at 16dpo, just over 48 hours later) is 268, so it more than doubled in the correct timeframe. Thank goodness!

The next step is to get a repeat HCG in a week. If things still look good I schedule a viability ultrasound around 7 weeks. I wish 7 weeks wasn’t the week of my daughters 2nd birthday but I don’t want to wait until 8 weeks and fudging the dates will put me at 6 weeks 1 day. That’s way too early in my opinion, especially after seeing a heartbeat around 6 weeks and then miscarrying at 7 weeks 1 day. I’d rather wait a little longer. I have a trip planned that throws a wrench in the scheduling of an ultrasound later on in week 6. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here.

As for pregnancy symptoms, I have had a little gas, bloating and minimal light cramping. But that’s it. I know it’s super early (16DPO) but my mind seems to remember way more cramping this early.

All of this being said, I have been here several times before and it’s fallen through every time but once. I am anxious and scared. But I also feel relaxed a lot of the time because I know there is nothing I can do to change the outcome. I can only hope this embryo implanted in a cozy spot that has enough blood flow to get everything it needs until its birth at full term.

And thus begins the rollercoaster of emotions, anxiety, obsessing over pregnancy symptoms (or the lack thereof) and hope. Because I can’t help but have some hope, even if the odds are against me.

Saline sonogram 2.0

I had my saline sonogram yesterday on CD10. I found my last one in 2015 to be quite crampy and uncomfortable. It was (and still is) my most uncomfortable experience with fertility procedures. This time I took 300mg Motrin 1 hour before and what a difference! Although maybe it was the doctor’s technique that was better but I literally had no pain (although I was bracing myself for pain the entire time). (Edited to add that I apparently took 800mg of Motrin before my last procedure so it must have been my new doctor’s technique). It took less than 10 minutes.

Fortunately there is nothing in my uterus that shouldn’t be there. He also reiterated that if we didn’t know about my UU, he would never be able to tell based on ultrasound that I had one. Oddly enough I almost wished for a polyp so I could undergo another hysteroscopy. One of my theories is that baby A stuck around because of the hysteroscopy creating an area for her to burrow in deep, sort of like an endometrial scratch. Alas I will never know if that was the magic needed but it’s certainly possible.

I still have the same cyst on my left ovary so I hope it stays for several months so I can ovulate from my connected right ovary for awhile, hopefully increasing my chances to be pregnant for the 3rd time in a year…sigh. When we were on our journey toward baby A I had a cyst on my left ovary for a long time, around 6 months. Maybe that is a more cyst-y ovary, if that is even a thing.

I am so unsure that I will ever carry another pregnancy to term. While I now know my body is capable of doing it, I certainly have pretty terrible odds with pregnancy outcomes. What a weird and lonely journey to be on. Never in a million years would I have expected to have recurrent pregnancy loss. I didn’t even know this was a thing until after I had my first miscarriage. Oh to be blissfully ignorant again.